The Good, the Bad, and the Worse

My Cancer History

It was the Ides of March in 2012 when my cancer journey began. A biopsy had revealed an anal condyloma. In plain English, I had cancer. The words hit like lightning, and resonate like thunder in the mind in a way I had only felt once before: on Pearl Harbor Day in 1992 when I was told I was HIV positive.

The first thing I did was I went to the Saloon and got shit-faced, which wasn’t the best idea, I know, but what the fuck? It’s okay to fall apart at a time like this… as long as I eventually stand back up and pull myself back together, like Scarlett O’Hara at the end of the first reel of Gone With the Wind. (“As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!”)

Anal cancer is a pain in the ass—literally. It’s the cancer Farrah Fawcett died of. But it’s also easy to treat when caught in time. The cancer I had was pretty easily cured by a couple rounds of chemo with 5-Fluorouracil and Mytomycin. It also involved a month of showing up once a day to get my butt zapped with radiation. I was able to listen to playlists on my MP3 player while the zapped my bottom and gave me some burn cream to apply internally. (Believe me when I say that you don’t know the agony of a sunburn until you’ve had one inside your butthole. I speak from experience.)

Aside from “buttburn,” the treatment went well, and the cancer was driven back. They’d still have to do a high-resolution anoscopy once a year to make sure the cancer hadn't returned, but all indications was that it was in remission. On the one year anniversary of my remission, they gave me a certificate for graduating from the program. The magic had worked… but it came with a catch. More on that later.

I only needed to miss one concert to treat my anal cancer, and I was back on the risers for the Pride concert that year. I was feeling pretty good about myself: I had kicked cancer’s butt when it took a bite out of mine. I made the other guy make worse. I even went to DisneyWorld that summer, courtesy of a generous gift from my roommate’s dad. (Thanks, Chuck!)

In the fall I returned to the Chorus to start working on the holiday show. I was coming along with the music and was all set to take the risers in December, except that right after Thanksgiving, I came down with what I thought was a flu. (COVID was not a thing yet.) I treated it with TheraFlu and rest, and missed a couple of rehearsals. It was during one rehearsal that I collapsed in the kitchen while Jim was rehearsing. I took a lyric from one of the songs we were singing and fell on my knees, then over on my side. Ouch. It was a real-life “help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” moment. As I recall, it took me half an hour, maybe an hour, to pull myself up, all the while screaming for help that never came. (My neighbor must not have been home, as he usually complains about me being too loud.) It was a couple of weeks still before Jim finally implored me to be seen in urgent care, where they saw right away what was wrong. But it took a few biopsies and PET scans to conform the diagnosis before they would tell me: it was Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Hodgkin’s wasn’t as easy to treat. It would involve a year of chemotherapy, reporting twice a week to be infused with four different drugs—Adriamycin, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine. I can remember that because they had an acronym for it: ABVD. Some of these drugs took hours to infuse. Others were quick. One, the nurse had to sit there patiently and inject a little bit a time into my access port. That stuff looked like Hawaiian Punch.

This chemo was nasty shit. This time, I did lose my hair. Not all at once, mind you, but in clumps and patches that looked so awful that I had to take my clippers and finish the job. I even bought one of those head-shaver thingies. I was also losing weight, which was important because they were supposed to calibrate my dosage based on my body weight, but they weren’t doing it. (Oops.) As a result, I wasted away to 89½ pounds. (40.5 kg) That was when I ended up in the hospital for a week. I was in pretty bad shape. At least my hospital room window gave me a great view of the “blood moon” lunar eclipse I thought I was going to miss. It was through these times that my fellow Chorus members really supported me. They smuggled in McDonald’s when I got sick of cafeteria swill. One day the whole Chorus office staff came to visit me over their lunch hour. That meant the universe to me.

It was a tough battle finding my way back that time. My oncologist (just one of an army of ologists trying to kill me) scaled back my ABVD treatment by taking out the Bleomycin, which tends to be the most problematic. So I guess it became ABVD, though she called it “ABVD lite.”

I finished my chemotherapy for lymphoma on September 30, 2014. I remember that date so precisely that I made a fancy poster commemorating the event and had my picture taken with it that I shared on social media. (A cancer survivor’s group) It’s hanging above my bed now. By that time I was singing in the chorus again, and by the time we started working on the Spring concert, my hair had grown back. Like a local television news personality, I’m “2 for 2.” Happily ever after, right? Not so fast.

Which brings us to…

The Present

Although my anal cancer was cured, I still have to have regular high-res anoscopy to check for possible recurrence. I hate these damned procedures because one, they’re a bit painful, especially since I have trouble assuming the positions with my hip necrosis; and two, it seems every time I get one of them, it comes back with bad news.

Mind you, all of this is taking place where I can’t see because I’m not a Republican, but the anoscopy found suspicious legions surrounding the anal verge and biopsied some of them. She couldn’t do a very deep biopsy, because that would involve excruciating pain and lots of bleeding, so she did what she could. The biopsies she took came back showing high-grade neoplasia. That’s medicalese for “pre-cancer.” It’s not cancer… yet… but she couldn’t look very far, like I said, without making a big mess. So she referred me to a colorectal surgeon who makes a living dealing with assholes all day. (At least they’re usually anesthetized at the other end.) This was pretty much an all-day appointment. First I met with the surgeon and the anesthetist, who smiled when I called him a “gas passer.” (It’s a joke from early seasons of M*A*S*H.) They prepped me for surgery and wheeled me into the operating room, which is where the midazolam kicked in and I seemed to cease to exist. I sensed no passage of time before I opened my eyes and looked around, sensing a change in my surroundings. The nurse smiled down at me and told me, “We’re done.”

That’s what I love about general anesthesia. You blink and it’s over.

So the surgeon collected biopsies from eight sites and sent them for analysis. The results should take 2-3 business days, so probably early next week. If it weren’t for the drugs I’m on, I’d probably be up all night worrying. There are three possible outcomes here: good news, bad news, and worse news.

Good News

The news could be good. The pre-cancerous legions could be just that: pre-cancerous lesions that can be dealt with before they become cancer, which is pretty easy to do with a little more surgery that’s over in a blink. They might even be able to do it with a laser or liquid nitrogen. Then again, it could be…

Bad News

My original cancer might have come back, and I’ve been told that this particular cancer has a habit of coming back. (Now they tell me?!) That would be bad news because the bad news would also be…

Worse News

Remember when I said that the magic came with a catch? Here’s where it comes in. The regimen of chemo and radiation worked, but they can only do it once. Seems the body can only handle so many rems before it reaches a lethal dosage, and I’ve reached my limits. That means a colostomy. I hate the idea. I hate the idea of having my colon removed and pooping into a bag for the rest of my life. Most of all, I hate the idea of shopping for shoes to match that bag.

… or Maybe There’s Hope?

Maybe I can seek a second opinion? Maybe M.D. Anderson Cancer Center or Cancer Treatment Centers of America can find some Hail Mary experimental programs I can look into? Bing A.I. had some suggestions for clinical trials I could look into. I’ll be discussing these with my doctor in a telemedicine visit on Monday. (My doctor, not my surgeon. My surgeon gets paid per procedure, so he will always suggest the surgical route.)

It’s not time to think about any of this yet, but it will be soon. As soon as those biopsy results come back: eight tickets to the Grim Reaper’s lottery. And there’s no way of knowing the odds.

Wish me luck, because it’s the only hope I’ve got, because my usual support system is starting to disintegrate….

TO BE CONTINUED...

A Date Which Will Live In Infamy

It was once said that today is a day that will live in infamy. Even if you did sleep through history class you know the significance of Pearl Harbor Day, the day that the Japanese attacked the US naval base in Hawaii and triggered the US entry into World War II. I’m way too young to remember the incident; my father hadn’t even met my mother yet.

December 7th has a different meaning for me.

I went to the Red Door Clinic just to make sure I wasn’t HIV positive. It was just a routine test I had done because it was convenient: I was working a temp assignment in the same building. But when I went in for my test results, the nurse didn’t even wait until we had settled into an exam room to give me the Bad News. His words still reverberate in my memory. “Bad news… it came back positive.”

I was shocked, scared, and angry. How could this happen to me? What did I do wrong? How would I tell my family and friends? How long would I live? I had so many questions but no answers. I felt like I had been given a death sentence. The first thing I did when I got home to my apartment, where I lived alone at the time, was I screamed. Then my friend Dave brought me over to his place and kept the beers coming while I cried on his shoulder. Then I decided not to give up. I decided to fight. I decided to live.

I started taking antiretroviral therapy (ART), which helps control the virus and prevent it from damaging the immune system. ART has improved a lot over the years, and it has helped many people with HIV live longer and healthier lives. But it is not a cure, and it has side effects. I had to deal with nausea, fatigue, diarrhea, and other problems. But I was grateful that I had access to this treatment because many people in the world don’t.

I also had to deal with the stigma and discrimination that people with HIV face. Some people treated me differently, avoided me, or rejected me. Some people were ignorant, fearful, and hateful. Some people blamed me, judged me, or shamed me. The only good thing I had going in life was Mikey, whom I had just met. We stayed together for a year and a half, even after I found out he was cheating. I ended up breaking up with him because he wasn’t holding up his end of the relationship financially.

I learned to live with HIV, but it was not easy. I had many challenges and I hit a few bumps in the road. One of the worst was in 2005 when I got Pneumocystis pneumonia (PCP), a serious infection caused by a fungus that can affect the lungs. A healthy person’s immune system can fight it off faster than they can pronounce it, but it’s common in people who have a weak immune system, like people who have HIV. According to Dr. Rosenstein, my doctor at the time, it’s the threshold where I crossed from being HIV positive to having full-blown AIDS, and there’s no going back. PCP can cause fever, cough, difficulty breathing, chest pain, and other symptoms. It can be life-threatening if not treated right away.

I had to retire at age 46 when dementia made it hard to do my job. I loved my job, working for one of the most gay-friendly companies in the world, and I was good at it. I had worked hard, and I had achieved a lot. But I had to let it go, and I had to adjust. I had to find new ways to keep my mind active and to enjoy my life. I had to find new hobbies and new interests. I had to find new meaning and new purpose.

I also had to deal with cancer twice. Cancer is a disease that causes abnormal cells to grow and spread in the body. It can affect any organ or tissue, and it can cause various symptoms depending on the type and location of the cancer. The first was anal cancer caused by, for which I was treated with radiation and chemotherapy. I’m really screwed if that one comes back because I’ve already maxed out my dose of radiation. My second cancer was Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a type of cancer that affects the lymphatic system, in 2013, and was treated with pretty intense chemo. My weight dropped to 89½ pounds (40.6 kg) and I almost died… again.

I’ve rung the Grim Reaper’s doorbell more times than a Jehovah’s Witness.

I fought hard, and I survived everything the gods threw at me. I underwent treatment, and I beat the cancer. I was relieved, and I was proud. I have been living with HIV for 31 years now, and today is my HIVersary, and I’ll be celebrating by singing with the Chorus, since tonight is opening night.

I have been through a lot, and I have overcome a lot. I have faced death, and I have chosen life. I have suffered pain, and I have found joy. I have lost hope, and I have regained it. I have been weak, and I have become strong.

As Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.”

I have survived, and I have thrived, by thinking positive. And I don’t mean just thinking positive about my HIV status, although that is important too. I mean thinking positive about myself, and about my life. I mean focusing on the good, and not on the bad. I mean being grateful, and not being bitter. I mean being optimistic, and not being pessimistic. I mean being hopeful, and not being hopeless.

Thinking positive has helped me cope, and it has helped me heal. It has helped me accept, and it has helped me grow. It has helped me love, and it has helped me live.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I will face it with courage, and with confidence. I know that I will face it with positivity, and with resilience, because I know that I will never face it alone.

As Lennon and McCartney said, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

Surviving the Holidays as a Godless Heathen

Oh, Christmas time is here, by golly! Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the hall with hunks of holly. Fill the cup and don’t say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens. Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens
Even though the prospect sickens, brother here we go again.”

— Tom Lehrer

The holidays are—oh, excuse me, Christmas is—a time of joy, peace, and goodwill for many people. But for some of us, it can also be frustrating, annoying, and awkward. I’m talking about the atheists, the agnostics, the skeptics, and the non-believers who have to deal with the religious aspects of the holiday season. Whether it’s listening to carols about angels and miracles, attending church services with family, or receiving gifts with religious messages, we often feel like outsiders in a world that celebrates faith and superstition.

As a singer in a gay men’s chorus, I’m faced with the irony of singing all these songs about God and baby Jesus, and some might consider me a hypocrite. But what I really am is a performer. I sing just as many songs about Santa Claus, Frosty the Snowman, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I sing just as much about Peace on Earth as I do about wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas. And the spirit of giving just feels good, even when you forget the origin story behind it. (That’s a subject for another post.)

I’m blessed (figure of speech) to be insulated from most of the religiosity that surrounds the holiday. While the right-wing pundits report about the War on Christmas, I’m a safe distance from my toxic family, and I have people who respect my beliefs to celebrate the holidays with. But what about those of us who have no choice but to interact with our dysfunctional tribes this holiday season?

Don’t despair, my fellow freethinkers. There are ways to cope with the challenges of being an atheist at Christmas. First of all, don’t complain that there isn’t a baby on the menu. (Just kidding.) Here are some tips and tricks that I have learned over the years:

• Be respectful. Even if you don’t share the beliefs of your friends and family, you can still respect their right to have them. Don’t mock, ridicule, or argue with them about religion, especially during the holidays. You don’t have to agree with them, but you don’t have to be rude. Remember, you are a guest in their home, and they are probably trying to make you feel welcome. If they invite you to join them in prayer, you can politely decline or stay silent. If they give you a religious gift, you can thank them for their thoughtfulness and keep it or donate it later. You can be honest but tactful if they ask you about your views. You don’t have to hide who you are, but you don’t have to provoke a confrontation either.
• Be positive. Instead of focusing on what annoys you about the holidays, focus on what you enjoy. There are plenty of secular aspects of the holiday that you can appreciate, such as the food, the music, the decorations, the movies, the games, and the company. You can also find meaning and value in the humanistic themes of Christmas, such as generosity, kindness, compassion, and gratitude. You can celebrate the natural wonders of the winter season, such as the snow, the stars, and the solstice. You can also create traditions and rituals that reflect your values and interests. You don’t need religion to have a happy holiday season.
• Be yourself. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed or guilty for being an atheist. You are not a bad person, a lost soul, or a Grinch. You are a rational, curious, and independent thinker who has reached your own conclusions about the world. You have nothing to apologize for or to hide. You can be proud of your identity and your worldview. You can also be open to learning from others and to sharing your perspective with them. You can be a part of the conversation and the celebration without compromising your integrity or your dignity. You can be an atheist and a good person at the same time.

That’s my advice on how to survive the holidays as a godless heathen. I hope you found it helpful. If any of the above suggestions fail, just nod and say “Thank you, Jesus,” often, even when something bad happens. Especially when something bad happens. They’re weird that way.

Or you could take your cue from one of history’s most iconic characters and just say, “Bah, humbug.”

The Year Without a Winter?

You may have noticed that the temperatures in many parts of the world are much higher than usual for this time of the year. In fact, some places are breaking records for the warmest December ever recorded. For example, in New York City, the average temperature for December 2023 was 55°F (12.8°C), which is 12°F (6.7°C) above the normal average. In London, the average temperature for December 2023 was 53.4°F (11.9°C), which is 7.9°F (7.9°C) above the normal average. In Tokyo, the average temperature for December 2023 was 56.3°F  (13.5°C), which is 5.6°F (3.1°C) above the normal average. As I write this, the temperature here is currently 35°F and next week the temperature will be flirting with fifty degrees. In Minnesota. In December. This is unheard of.

These are not isolated cases but part of a global trend. According to the World Meteorological Organization (WMO), 2023 was the second warmest year, after 2016. The global average temperature for 2023 was 2.2°F (1.2°C) above the pre-industrial level, which is the baseline for measuring the impact of human-induced climate change. The WMO also reported that the past six years, from 2018 to 2023, were the six warmest years ever recorded.

This is not normal, and this is not natural. This results from human activities that emit greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, such as carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide. These gases trap heat and cause the Earth’s temperature to rise. The greenhouse effect is the main driver of global climate change.

Climate change is not just about rising temperatures but also about changing weather patterns. One of the consequences of climate change is that the seasons are becoming more extreme and unpredictable. For example, some regions are experiencing more frequent and intense heat waves, droughts, wildfires, and floods, while others are experiencing more severe and prolonged cold snaps, snowstorms, and blizzards. These extreme weather events can devastate human health, food security, water resources, biodiversity, and infrastructure.

The unseasonably warm weather we’re having for December exemplifies how climate change alters our seasons. It may seem nice to have a mild winter, but it is not good for the environment or us. A warm winter can disrupt the natural cycles of plants and animals, such as flowering, fruiting, hibernating, and migrating. It can also increase the risk of pests, diseases, and invasive species, harming crops, livestock, and wildlife. It can also reduce the amount of snow and ice, affecting the availability and quality of water, as well as the recreation and tourism industries.

The unseasonably warm weather we’re having for December reminds me of the opposite phenomenon that occurred in 1816, which is known as the Year Without a Summer. That year, the global temperature dropped by about 0.7°C (0.7°C) due to the eruption of Mount Tambora in Indonesia, which spewed large amounts of volcanic ash and sulfur dioxide into the atmosphere. This caused a volcanic winter, which blocked the sunlight and cooled the Earth. The result was a series of crop failures, famines, epidemics, and social unrest worldwide.

The Year Without a Summer was a natural phenomenon, but the Year Without a Winter is a man-made disaster. We are the ones who are causing the Earth to warm up, and we are the ones who are suffering the consequences. But we are also the ones who can do something about it. We can reduce our greenhouse gas emissions by using renewable energy sources, improving energy efficiency, and adopting low-carbon lifestyles. We can also adapt to the changing climate by enhancing our resilience, preparedness, and cooperation. We can also support the global efforts to combat climate change, such as the Paris Agreement, which aims to limit the global temperature rise to well below 3.6°F (2°C), preferably to 2.7°F (1.5°C), above the pre-industrial level.

The unseasonably warm weather we’re having for December is not a gift but a challenge. It is a challenge to act now and together to save our planet and ourselves. It is a challenge to think long-term and globally to protect our future and our children’s future. It is a challenge to be responsible and hopeful, make a difference, and make a change.

Hit the Road, George!

It seems that Republicans have, at long last, found the bar.

On Thursday, the House of Representatives voted to expel Republican Rep. George Santos of New York, making him the sixth member in U.S. history and the first in more than 20 years to be removed from the chamber. The resolution to expel Santos, who is facing 23 federal charges and a damning report from the House Ethics Committee, passed by a vote of 402–10, with 21 members not voting. The vote came after a heated debate on the House floor, where lawmakers from both parties denounced Santos’ conduct and urged him to resign.

Santos, who pleaded not guilty to all criminal counts, has been accused of stealing from donors, using campaign funds for personal expenses, fraudulently collecting unemployment benefits, lying about his background and education, and engaging in fraudulent business dealings. The Ethics Committee said in its report that there was “substantial evidence” that Santos repeatedly broke the law and violated House rules.

Santos, who was elected in 2022, has refused to step down and has claimed he is a victim of a political witch hunt. He defended himself on the House floor before the vote, saying he has the right to “the presumption of innocence” and asking his colleagues to “look at the facts, not the headlines.”

“I am not a perfect man, but I am not a criminal,” Santos said. “I have made mistakes, but I have never intentionally harmed anyone. I have always tried to serve my constituents and my country with honor and integrity.”

Santos also accused the Ethics Committee of conducting a “biased and flawed” investigation and said he was denied due process and a fair hearing. He said he was confident he would be vindicated in court and vowed to continue fighting for his seat.

“I will not give up, I will not quit, I will not surrender,” Santos said. “I will continue to work hard for the people of New York’s 3rd Congressional District, and I will seek justice in the court of law.”

But Santos’ plea fell on deaf ears, as lawmakers from both sides of the aisle expressed their disgust and disappointment with his actions and said he had brought shame and dishonor to the House.

“Rep. Santos has betrayed the trust of the American people and this institution,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. “He has shown contempt for the rule of law and the values we hold dear. He has violated his oath of office, and he has disgraced himself and this body. He has forfeited his right to serve in the House of Representatives, and he must be expelled.”

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who had previously supported Santos, said he had changed his mind after reading the Ethics Committee’s report and said Santos had “crossed a line that cannot be crossed.”

“Rep. Santos has engaged in a pattern of deception, fraud, and corruption that is appalling and unacceptable,” McCarthy said. “He has lied to his constituents, his colleagues, and the American people. He has abused his power and his position for personal gain. He has shown no remorse, no accountability, and no respect for this institution. He has lost the confidence and the trust of his colleagues, and he has lost the privilege of serving in the House of Representatives.”

The expulsion of Santos triggered a special election to fill his seat in New York’s 3rd Congressional District, which covers parts of Long Island and Queens. New York Governor Kathy Hochul will have to call the election and the party leaders will pick the nominees to replace him.

The last time the House expelled a member was in 2002, when Democrat James Traficant of Ohio was removed after being convicted of bribery, racketeering, and tax evasion. The other four members who were expelled were all involved in the Civil War and took up arms for the Confederacy.

Santos was elected on a campaign of lies, from conflicting accounts of his mother, who was either killed in the 9/11 attacks or died of cancer, depending on what day of the week you ask him on. He tried to claim Jewish heritage, then later “softened” that to being jew-ish, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Santos’ fast and loose approach to the truth has become a punchline to late-night comics and the writers at Saturday Night Live, who are undoubtedly happy they returned from their strike in time to write all the jokes about this they are probably writing themselves.

Good luck at your next job, George. Maybe Breitbart or Newsmax is hiring?

Sandra Day O’Connor: A Pioneer of Justice

I am deeply saddened by the news of the passing of Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman to serve on the United States Supreme Court. She was 92 years old and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2018. She died peacefully at her home in Phoenix, Arizona, surrounded by her family and friends.

Sandra Day O’Connor was a remarkable woman who made history and shaped the nation’s law. She was a trailblazer, a leader, a mentor, and a role model for many women and girls who aspire to pursue careers in law and public service. She was also a person of integrity, courage, wisdom, and compassion. She will be remembered for her justice, fairness, and moderation legacy.

She was born Sandra Wilkey in El Paso, Texas on March 26, 1930. She grew up on a ranch in Arizona, where she learned to ride horses, shoot guns, and fix fences. She developed a strong work ethic, a sense of independence, and a love for nature. She also excelled in school, graduating from high school at 16.

She attended Stanford University, where she majored in economics and graduated magna cum laude in 1950. She then enrolled in Stanford Law School, where she met her future husband, John O’Connor, a fellow law student. She finished her law degree in two years, ranking third in her class of 102 students. She was also the editor of the Stanford Law Review and a member of the Order of the Coif, an honor society for law students.

After graduating from law school, she faced discrimination and difficulty in finding a job as a female lawyer. She was offered only secretarial positions or low-paying jobs. She eventually found work as a deputy county attorney in San Mateo, California, where she handled civil and criminal cases. She also worked as a civilian attorney for the U.S. Army in Germany, where her husband was stationed as an officer.

In 1957, the couple moved back to Arizona, where they raised their three sons. Sandra resumed her legal career, working in private practice, as an assistant attorney general, and as a state senator. She became the first woman to serve as the majority leader of a state senate in the U.S. in 1973. She was known for her bipartisan and pragmatic approach to legislation, focusing on issues such as education, health care, and criminal justice.

In 1975, she was appointed by the governor to the Arizona Court of Appeals, where she served until 1981. She earned a reputation as a fair and competent judge, who wrote clear and concise opinions. She was also active in various professional and civic organizations, such as the American Bar Association, the National Association of Women Judges, and the Arizona Women Lawyers Association.

In 1981, President Ronald Reagan nominated her to the Supreme Court of the United States, fulfilling his campaign promise to appoint the first female justice. She was unanimously confirmed by the Senate, becoming the 102nd justice and the first woman to join the highest court in the land. She was sworn in by Chief Justice Warren Burger on September 25, 1981.

She served on the Supreme Court for 25 years, from 1981 to 2006. She was a moderate conservative, who often cast the deciding vote in many landmark cases. She was known for her pragmatic and meticulously researched opinions, which balanced the principles of federalism, individual rights, and judicial restraint. She was also respected by her colleagues and the public for her collegiality, civility, and humor.

Some of the notable cases she was involved in include Roe v. Wade (1992; overturned 2022), which upheld the constitutional right to abortion but allowed states to impose some regulations on the procedure; Bush v. Gore (2000), in which she sided with the majority to stop the recount of votes in Florida, effectively deciding the outcome of the presidential election in favor of George W. Bush. In Grutter v. Bollinger (2003), she wrote the majority opinion that upheld the use of affirmative action in university admissions, as long as it was narrowly tailored and based on individual assessment; and in Lawrence v. Texas (2003), she concurred with the majority to strike down a Texas law that criminalized homosexual conduct, on the grounds of equal protection under the law.

She retired from the Supreme Court in 2006, citing the need to care for her husband, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. She was succeeded by Samuel Alito, nominated by President George W. Bush.

After retiring from the Supreme Court, Sandra Day O’Connor remained active and engaged in various causes and projects. She wrote several books, including a memoir, a children’s book, and a historical novel. She also founded iCivics, a nonprofit organization promoting civic education and young people’s engagement. She received numerous awards and honors, such as the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the Liberty Medal, and the Radcliffe Medal.

She also continued to speak out on issues that mattered to her, such as judicial independence, women’s rights, and Alzheimer’s awareness. She revealed her own diagnosis of dementia in 2018 and urged others to support research and treatment for the disease. She also expressed her gratitude and optimism for the future: “As a young cowgirl from the Arizona desert, I never could have imagined that one day I would become the first woman justice on the U.S. Supreme Court.”

Sandra Day O’Connor pioneered justice, broke barriers, and inspired generations. She was a woman of many talents and achievements who lived a life of service and excellence. She was a leader, a jurist, a mother, a wife, a friend, and a hero. She will be dearly missed, but her legacy will live on. We honor her memory and celebrate her life.

Rest in power, Justice O’Connor.