Oh, Christmas time is here, by golly! Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the hall with hunks of holly. Fill the cup and don’t say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens. Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens
Even though the prospect sickens, brother here we go again.”— Tom Lehrer
As a singer in a gay men’s chorus, I’m faced with the irony of singing all these songs about God and baby Jesus, and some might consider me a hypocrite. But what I really am is a performer. I sing just as many songs about Santa Claus, Frosty the Snowman, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I sing just as much about Peace on Earth as I do about wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas. And the spirit of giving just feels good, even when you forget the origin story behind it. (That’s a subject for another post.)
I’m blessed (figure of speech) to be insulated from most of the religiosity that surrounds the holiday. While the right-wing pundits report about the War on Christmas, I’m a safe distance from my toxic family, and I have people who respect my beliefs to celebrate the holidays with. But what about those of us who have no choice but to interact with our dysfunctional tribes this holiday season?
Don’t despair, my fellow freethinkers. There are ways to cope with the challenges of being an atheist at Christmas. First of all, don’t complain that there isn’t a baby on the menu. (Just kidding.) Here are some tips and tricks that I have learned over the years:
- Be respectful. Even if you don’t share the beliefs of your friends and family, you can still respect their right to have them. Don’t mock, ridicule, or argue with them about religion, especially during the holidays. You don’t have to agree with them, but you don’t have to be rude. Remember, you are a guest in their home, and they are probably trying to make you feel welcome. If they invite you to join them in prayer, you can politely decline or stay silent. If they give you a religious gift, you can thank them for their thoughtfulness and keep it or donate it later. You can be honest but tactful if they ask you about your views. You don’t have to hide who you are, but you don’t have to provoke a confrontation either.
- Be positive. Instead of focusing on what annoys you about the holidays, focus on what you enjoy. There are plenty of secular aspects of the holiday that you can appreciate, such as the food, the music, the decorations, the movies, the games, and the company. You can also find meaning and value in the humanistic themes of Christmas, such as generosity, kindness, compassion, and gratitude. You can celebrate the natural wonders of the winter season, such as the snow, the stars, and the solstice. You can also create traditions and rituals that reflect your values and interests. You don’t need religion to have a happy holiday season.
- Be yourself. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed or guilty for being an atheist. You are not a bad person, a lost soul, or a Grinch. You are a rational, curious, and independent thinker who has reached your own conclusions about the world. You have nothing to apologize for or to hide. You can be proud of your identity and your worldview. You can also be open to learning from others and to sharing your perspective with them. You can be a part of the conversation and the celebration without compromising your integrity or your dignity. You can be an atheist and a good person at the same time.
That’s my advice on how to survive the holidays as a godless heathen. I hope you found it helpful. If any of the above suggestions fail, just nod and say “Thank you, Jesus,” often, even when something bad happens. Especially when something bad happens. They’re weird that way.
Or you could take your cue from one of history’s most iconic characters and just say, “Bah, humbug.”