Happy Birthday, Mark Twain!

Today marks the 188th birthday of one of the most beloved and influential writers in American history, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, historically better known as Mark Twain. Born on November 30, 1835, in Florida, Missouri, Clemens grew up in the town of Hannibal, which later became the setting for his famous novels The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Twain had a colorful and adventurous life, working as a printer, a riverboat pilot, a miner, a journalist, a lecturer, and a publisher. He also traveled extensively around the world, writing about his experiences and observations in books such as The Innocents Abroad, A Tramp Abroad, and Following the Equator.

To Clemens, Mark Twain was a fictitious character, and he much preferred to be addressed by his given name rather than his pseudonym. Nonetheless, Twain is widely regarded as the Father of American Literature and the greatest humorist the United States has produced. His works are known for their realism, satire, wit, and social criticism, as well as their memorable characters and dialogue. He was also a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and royalty, and a vocal opponent of imperialism, racism, and slavery. He died on April 21, 1910, at the age of 74, leaving behind a legacy of literary masterpieces and cultural icons.

Twain’s best-known books include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876), the classic story of a young boy growing up in a small town on the Mississippi River, getting into mischief, falling in love, and witnessing a murder; and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884): The sequel to Tom Sawyer, and often considered the Great American Novel, this book follows the journey of Huck Finn, a runaway slave named Jim, and their raft down the Mississippi River, as they encounter various characters and situations that reflect the social and moral issues of the time.

His other works include A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889). A satire of medieval romance and chivalry, this book tells the story of a 19th-century American engineer who is transported to sixth-century England, where he uses his modern knowledge and skills to become a powerful figure in King Arthur’s court; Pudd’nhead Wilson (1894); a tragicomedy that explores the themes of identity, race, and slavery, this book revolves around two boys who are switched at birth, one white and one black, and the consequences of their lives as they grow up in a small town in Missouri; and The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873), co-written with Charles Dudley Warner, a satire of the political and social corruption of the post-Civil War era, as well as a realistic portrayal of the rise of industrialization and urbanization in America.

Twain’s nom de plume comes from his days as a riverboat pilot when he would measure the depth of the water by calling out “mark twain”, meaning two fathoms (12 feet). It is historically notable that he was born two weeks after Halley’s Comet appeared in 1835, and predicted that he would “go out with it” in 1910. True to his word, Clemens died the day after the comet returned, leaving behind a rich heritage of literature and invention. He held several patents, including one for an elastic-clasp brassiere strap, one for a self-pasting scrapbook, and one for a history trivia game.

As an author, he was an early adopter of new technologies, such as the typewriter, the telephone, and the phonograph. He was also one of the first authors to dictate his books to a stenographer, rather than writing them by hand.

Twain had a lifelong fascination with cats and owned several of them throughout his life. He once said, “When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.”

Happy birthday, Mark Twain, and thank you for your contributions to literature and culture!

Happy Red Planet Day!

Today is a day to celebrate Mars, the fourth planet from the Sun and the second smallest in the Solar System. Mars has fascinated humans for centuries, both as a scientific object and as a source of inspiration for fiction. In this blog post, I will explore some of the facts and myths about Mars, and how it has been portrayed in science and literature.

Mars is often called the Red Planet because of its reddish color, caused by iron oxide (rust) in its rocks and soil. It has a thin atmosphere, mostly made up of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and argon. It has two small, irregular moons, Phobos and Deimos, named after the Greek gods of fear and terror. Mars has seasons, polar ice caps, volcanoes, canyons, and weather, but very little water on its surface. The average temperature on Mars is -81 degrees Fahrenheit, and it can range from -195 degrees Fahrenheit at the poles to 70 degrees Fahrenheit at the equator.

Mars is also a popular destination for space exploration, both by robotic probes and by human missions. The first successful flyby of Mars was by Mariner 4 in 1965, which sent back the first close-up images of the planet. Since then, several orbiters, landers, and rovers have explored Mars, revealing its geology, climate, and history. Some of the most notable missions include Viking 1 and 2, which landed on Mars in 1976 and searched for signs of life; Pathfinder and Sojourner, which landed in 1997 and tested new technologies for surface exploration; Spirit and Opportunity, which landed in 2004 and found evidence of past water activity; Phoenix, which landed in 2008 and analyzed the polar soil; Curiosity, which landed in 2012 and is still exploring the Gale Crater; and Perseverance, which landed in 2021 and is searching for signs of ancient microbial life and collecting samples for future return to Earth.

Mars has also been a major theme in science fiction and fantasy, dating back to at least the mid-1600s. Some of the earliest depictions of Mars were part of tours of the Solar System, such as Somnium by Johannes Kepler and The Man in the Moone by Francis Godwin. In the late 1800s, Mars became the most popular celestial object in fiction, as it became clear that there was no life on the Moon. The idea of canals on Mars, popularized by Percival Lowell, sparked the imagination of many writers, who envisioned an ancient civilization on the brink of extinction. One of the most influential works of this period was The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells, published in 1897, which depicted a Martian invasion of Earth and the struggle of humanity to survive.

In the first half of the 1900s, Mars continued to be a common setting for stories about alien life, either enlightened, evil, or decadent. Some of the most famous examples include the Barsoom series by Edgar Rice Burroughs, which featured a swashbuckling hero and a princess on a dying Mars; A Martian Odyssey by Stanley G. Weinbaum, which introduced a friendly and quirky alien named Tweel; and The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury, which portrayed the colonization of Mars by humans and the conflict with the native Martians.

In the second half of the 1900s, as more scientific data about Mars became available, the fiction shifted to more realistic and plausible scenarios, such as the exploration and terraforming of Mars by humans. Some of the most notable works of this period include Mars by Ben Bova, which followed the first human mission to Mars; the Mars trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson, which spanned the centuries-long transformation of Mars into a habitable world; and The Martian by Andy Weir, which depicted the survival of an astronaut stranded on Mars.

In the 21st century, Mars remains a popular and relevant topic in science and fiction, as new discoveries and challenges arise. Some of the recent works that deal with Mars include Red Rising by Pierce Brown, which featured a dystopian society on a colonized Mars; The Expanse by James S. A. Corey, which portrayed the political and social tensions between Earth, Mars, and the asteroid belt; and Artemis by Andy Weir, which involved a heist on the Moon involving a Martian conspiracy.

Mars is a fascinating planet that has captured the curiosity and imagination of humans for generations. It is a world of contrasts, beauty, and mystery, and a potential home for future explorers and settlers.

My New Look

To put it as succinctly as possible, I hate my hair. The last few years it’s been thinning on top, to the point where it’s invisible on pictures of me, and I had a bald spot hiding where I couldn’t see it except with mirrors or a camera. I’ve looked into hair transplants, but I really don’t want to spend that much. So I got myself a wig. Now I have a full heard of luxurious ash blonde hair. (It was the closest to my natural color I could find, and the colors weren’t accurate on my laptop screen.)

I like my new look. I can style it any way I like, so I can wear it casually combed forward, or brush it back for a more distinguished look. And being able to take it off can be beneficial when styling it. As for my real hair—what was left of it—I’ve shaved it all off. I’m used to seeing myself bald from my days in chemotherapy. I wish I had this wig then.

I premiered my new look last night at the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre, where we customarily celebrate Jim’s birthday with his family. We saw their production of Jersey Boys. It was a fun show, even if Frankie Valli was played by an understudy. (But man could he hit those high notes! Where did they find so many countertenors?) The music was a fun stroll down memory lane. (I’m old enough to remember “Oh What A Night” long before I got what it was about. 😉) The part of Tommy DeVito was played by an actor I’m familiar with from his commercials for a local furniture store. He’s totally cute and I have an insane crush on him.

JFK: A Profile in Courage

On November 22, 1963, the world was shocked and saddened by the news of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States, in Dallas, Texas. Kennedy was riding in a motorcade with his wife Jacqueline, Texas Governor John Connally, and Connally’s wife Nellie, when he was fatally shot by Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine and defector to the Soviet Union. Oswald was later killed by Jack Ruby, a nightclub owner and police informant, before he could stand trial. Kennedy's death marked a turning point in American history and culture, as well as in global politics and affairs.

Sixty years later, America remembers and honors the life and legacy of President Kennedy, who was not only a charismatic leader, but also a visionary, a reformer, a hero, and a martyr. I was a Kennedy Kid, born four days after he took the Oath of Office, and I was 2¾ years old when he was assassinated, so I don’t really have any memories of the event. (I’m told my mother dropped me when they broke into programming to announce it, but my siblings told me lots of false things to mess with me.)

Kennedy was born on May 29, 1917, in Brookline, Massachusetts, to a wealthy and influential family. He graduated from Harvard University in 1940, and joined the U.S. Naval Reserve in 1941. During World War II, he commanded a series of PT boats in the Pacific theater, and earned the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for his bravery and leadership in rescuing his crew after their boat was sunk by a Japanese destroyer. He also suffered from chronic back pain and other health problems, which he endured with courage and stoicism.

After the war, Kennedy pursued a career in politics, following the footsteps of his father and older brother. He served as a U.S. Representative from 1947 to 1953, and as a U.S. Senator from 1953 to 1960. He also wrote a Pulitzer Prize-winning book, Profiles in Courage, which highlighted the acts of moral courage by eight U.S. Senators. In 1953, he married Jacqueline Bouvier, a socialite and journalist, with whom he had four children, two of whom died in infancy.

In 1960, Kennedy became the youngest person ever elected president of the United States, and the first Catholic to hold the office. He faced many challenges and crises during his presidency, such as the Cold War, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Bay of Pigs Invasion, the Berlin Wall, the Space Race, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Vietnam War. He also initiated many programs and policies to promote peace, progress, and prosperity, such as the Peace Corps, the Alliance for Progress, the Nuclear Test-Ban Treaty, the New Frontier, and the Apollo program. He inspired millions of Americans and people around the world with his eloquence, charisma, and idealism. He famously said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

Kennedy's assassination was a tragic and traumatic event that shook the nation and the world. It also sparked many conspiracy theories and controversies that persist to this day. However, Kennedy's legacy lives on in the hearts and minds of those who admire and respect him, and in the institutions and initiatives that he founded or supported. Kennedy was a man of courage, vision, and hope, who dedicated his life to serving his country and humanity. He once said, “A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.” Kennedy's ideas and ideals still live on, and we honor him by striving to uphold them.

Rest in power, Mr. President.

Remembering Rosalynn Carter

A Tribute to a Remarkable First Lady

 

Eleanor Rosalynn Carter, affectionately known as Rosalynn, graced the White House as the First Lady of the United States from 1977 to 1981. Her legacy extends far beyond her time in the spotlight, leaving an indelible mark on American history and hearts.

Born in Plains, Georgia, on August 18, 1927, Rosalynn was a woman of resilience, compassion, and unwavering dedication.

Rosalynn was an Advocate for Mental Health, a trailblazer in championing mental health awareness. She recognized the importance of addressing mental health issues and worked tirelessly to destigmatize them. Her advocacy paved the way for greater understanding, empathy, and support for those struggling with mental illnesses.

She was A Partner in Leadership as the wife of President Jimmy Carter, Rosalynn was more than a ceremonial first lady. She actively participated in her husband’s presidency, attending Cabinet meetings and engaging with domestic and foreign leaders. Her commitment to being informed and engaged set a precedent for future first ladies.

Rosalynn rejected the confines of a traditional first lady role. She was not content with merely hosting events and attending social functions. Instead, she used her platform to address critical issues, including mental health, women’s rights, and social justice.

Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter’s love story is one for the ages. Their enduring partnership exemplified mutual respect, shared values, and unwavering support. Their marriage spanned over seven decades, making Rosalynn the longest-married first lady in history.

Even after leaving the White House, Rosalynn continued her advocacy work. She authored books, supported Habitat for Humanity, and remained a steadfast voice for mental health. Her legacy lives on through the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving, which she founded to support caregivers.

As we bid farewell to this remarkable woman, let us remember Rosalynn Carter as a beacon of compassion, courage, and commitment. Her legacy inspires us to advocate for positive change, lift others up, and leave the world better than we found it.

Thank you, Rosalynn, for your unwavering service and dedication. Your light will forever shine in our hearts. Rest in peace, secure in the knowledge that you helped change the world.

A Response to Osama Bin Laden

Dear Departed Osama bin Laden,

Hope this finds you as well as can be expected, considering that your body has probably been consumed by bottom-feeding sea life and your skull is now home to some hermit crab at the bottom of the Mediterranean. The psychotic screed you wrote back in 2002, before we kicked your ass, has been making the rounds here, and while social media may be creating the illusion that it has struck a responsive chord here, know that social media is a fickle thing. The youth of America will be distracted soon enough when the next shiny object is dangled in front of them by some influencer, and you’ll be, like, so last month. You’ll be forgotten again as soon as the next Taylor Swift video drops.

We have a saying here in America: “Fuck around and find out.” You fucked around. You found out. That is why Al Qaeda no longer exists. That’s why you no longer exist. Because in the face of true good, evil withers.

Your psychotic ramblings are nothing new, as we have been hearing the same bullshit from Christian charlatans since “Palestine” was a Roman colony, long before Mohammed’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was born. There’s nothing new to your bullshit—it’s just the same crap with a different accent. I won’t attempt to address most of the points in your letter, since they are pointless drivel about your backward superstitions. But I will address some of them:

You wrote, “When the Muslims conquered Palestine and drove out the Romans, Palestine and Jerusalem returned to Islam.” You were sadly deluded, Osama. You did not drive out the Romans; their empire collapsed—because they gave religion too much power—and your people swooped in to fill the power vacuum like an opportunistic infection.

You whined about “The blood pouring out of Palestine must be equally revenged, and that you must know that the Palestinians do not cry alone; their women are not widowed alone; their sons are not orphaned alone. Oh, so all of a sudden you care about your women, huh? Otherwise you consider them property. Second class citizens. More on this later. There’s a lot to unpack here.

You said, “You attacked us in Somalia; you supported the Russian atrocities against us in Chechnya, the Indian oppression against us in Kashmir, and the Jewish aggression against us in Lebanon.” No, Osama, that was not us. That was Russia, and India, and Lebanon. Even after 9/11, it wasn’t America that came after you and your enablers, it was The Whole Fucking Civilized World. This is why we defeated you; because you were just a cowardly worm hiding in a cave behind human shields. And you have the balls to say we have no honor? But you could not hide forever. That’s why you’re sleeping with the fishes now. We left no grave for your deluded disciples to mourn at, and someday you’ll be only a footnote in some forgotten history book.

You also justify aggression against civilians, for crimes they did not commit and offenses in which they did not partake: “This argument contradicts your continuous repetition that America is the land of freedom, and its leaders in this world. Therefore, the American people are the ones who choose their government by way of their own free will; a choice which stems from their agreement to its policies.”

You knew absolutely nothing about America, apparently. I can understand how it might seem strange to you that the American People are free to disagree with their leaders without fear of being beheaded. The very concept must seem alien to you. We’re free to follow any religion we want, or no religion at all. We’re free to follow our dreams. And our women enjoy the same liberty. That, in and of itself, gives us the moral high ground.

George W. Bush had it right: you hate freedom.

You have no idea how many allies you had here before 9/11. Some of us even tried to end the bloodshed. We urged our leaders to find peaceful solutions. We opposed going to war with Iraq. We opposed occupying Afghanistan. But we were outnumbered. That happens in a democracy. It sucks, but it’s a damn sight better than living under the theocratic dictatorship you were calling on us to become. And while some of us may think it is their right to react violently when they lose, our criminal justice system is putting them in their place, just like our military put you in yours.

“The first thing that we are calling you to is Islam,” you wrote, once again proving how little you know about America. You see, our nation was founded on religious freedom. We aren’t even going to let our elected leaders force Christianity on us, we certainly aren’t going to let you force your religion on us either.

You claim that your Quran is the religion whose book - the Quran - “will remain preserved and unchanged, after the other Divine books and messages have been changed.”

Guess what? Every religion says that about their “divine” books.

The Quran is the miracle until the Day of Judgment. Allah has challenged anyone to bring a book like the Quran or even ten verses like it.

Guess what? Every religion says that about their “divine” books too.

Then you go on with the same misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic baggage every Abrahamic religion spews, with the possible exception of Jews, who don’t force their beliefs on us. No Jew has ever told me I couldn’t eat a ham sandwich. And as for bacon—you don’t know what you missed out on.

We call you to all of this that you may be freed from that which you have become caught up in; that you may be freed from the deceptive lies that you are a great nation, that your leaders spread amongst you to conceal from you the despicable state to which you have reached.

We’re already free, thank you. You wanted to enslave us with your “deceptive lies.” No, thank you. We declared independence from England because we didn’t want them shoving their religion down our throats. We don’t want yours either.

You are the nation who, rather than ruling by the Shariah of Allah in its Constitution and Laws, choose to invent your own laws as you will and desire.

Because that’s how it’s done in a free country.

You separate religion from your policies, contradicting the pure nature which affirms Absolute Authority to the lord and your Creator.

And this is as it should be. The state has no place enforcing religious dogma.

You flee from the embarrassing question posed to you: How is it possible for Allah the Almighty to create His creation, grant them power over all the creatures and land, grant them all the amenities of life, and then deny them that which they are most in need of: knowledge of the laws which govern their lives?

It seems to me the only person embarrassed by these questions was you. It really pissed you off that we don’t need your  god to be moral. That’s okay, Christians feel the same way.

You are a nation that permits acts of immorality, and you consider them to be pillars of personal freedom.

Yeah, we’re really proud of that one. We call it, “liberty and justice for all.”

You have continued to sink down this abyss from level to level until incest has spread amongst you, in the face of which neither your sense of honor nor your laws object.

Incest? You want to talk about incest? How about the ridiculous Adam and Eve myth common to all Abrahamic religions? Who did their sons have children with? Your religion literally teaches that we are ALL products of incest.

Who can forget your President Clinton's immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he 'made a mistake', after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations?

And guess what? It not only failed to remove him from office it got him re-elected, too. Because we Americans know that freedom means keeping your nose out of other people’s personal business. And at least Monica Lewinsky was a consenting adult. Mohammed married a fucking thirteen year old!

You are a nation that permits gambling in its all forms. The companies practice this as well, resulting in the investments becoming active and the criminals becoming rich.

Meanwhile, you have placed the ultimate bet: you have literally gambled your soul that your religion is the truth. And you lost that bet.

You are a nation that exploits women like consumer products or advertising tools calling upon customers to purchase them. You use women to serve passengers, visitors, and strangers to increase your profit margins. You then rant that you support the liberation of women.

We ALLOW our women to pursue their interests and follow their dreams. You treat yours like property, making them slaves in the home. So please shut the fuck up about women’s rights. You have no business speaking on these matters.

And just so you know, Osama, my representative in Congress is not only a woman, she’s a Muslim. So is my mayor, the first Somali-American mayor elected in U.S. history. I bet it really pisses you off that we give women such power. Oh, that’s right, it doesn’t—’cause you’re dead.

[Y]ou have been described in history as a nation that spreads diseases that were unknown to man in the past. Go ahead and boast to the nations of man, that you brought them AIDS as a Satanic American Invention.

You apparently know as little about history and geography as you do about democracy, Osama. AIDS originated in Africa. And it was Americans who developed the treatments that are making HIV a livable condition. So we kicked Allah’s ass on that one. (Score: Science-1, Allah-0)

Your policy on prohibiting and forcibly removing weapons of mass destruction to ensure world peace: it only applies to those countries which you do not permit to possess such weapons.

Because children cannot be trusted with dangerous toys. Americans know better than anybody how dangerous it is to hand an infant a loaded gun.

You ended your letter with what I assume was supposed to be an ominous threat:

If you fail to respond to all these conditions, then prepare for fight with the Islamic Nation.

Well, we had our fight. You lost. Al Qaeda and ISIS are shattered and people throughout the Islamic world are rising up against their oppressors. Arab Spring was only the beginning. Christianity is also on the decline, as it should be. Humanity is growing up.

Better luck next time… not that there will be one, at least for you. Because you’re dead, and we are not. I hope those seventy-two virgins waiting for you were old Catholic nuns.

Sincerely,
America 

Making History in Minnesota

Tuesday’s election was a wake-up call to the Republican Party. Voters made their opinions known on reproductive freedom, amending the Ohio state constitution to codify abortion rights, just like voters in Kansas rejected an attempt to amend their state’s constitution to outlaw abortion last year. Deep red Kentucky re-elected Democrat Andy Beshear, and both houses of the Virginia State Legislature flipped from red to blue, effectively shooting down any hopes Gov. Youngkin has of passing an abortion ban there.

That’s what they get for pushing a product the American People just don’t want.

It seems that their Holy Grail of overturning Roe vs. Wade backfired because the majority of Americans want abortion to be safe and legal. By kowtowing to an ever-shrinking religious base, they’re alienating more Americans. The blunting of their “red wave” in 2022 and the Democratic gains this year are a wake-up recall to Republicans that America just doesn’t want what they’re selling. But Republicans will just hit the snooze button, as always. Sleep well.

But the really big news to come out of this election is local. Saint Louis Park, Minnesota, where I live, just elected the nation’s first Somali mayor. Nadia Mohammed easily won election after incumbent Jake Spano declined to run for another term.

Meanwhile…

The Minnesota Supreme Court has ruled that Donald Trump can appear on the primary ballot here in Minnesota, because the 14th Amendment doesn’t say he can’t run in a primary, where the party makes the rules. The case was dismissed with prejudice; the judge explained that the court can’t rule on hypotheticals. Now, should Trump get the Republican nomination, then the case can be re-presented, and then it can be ruled that Trump is disqualified from running for office. And you know he’s not going to take that lying down.

Happy Diwali!

What’s Diwali, you ask?

Diwali, also known as Deepavali, is the festival of lights and one of the most important and joyous occasions for Hindus around the world. It is celebrated every year in the month of Kartika, which falls between mid-October and mid-November in the Gregorian calendar.

But what is the origin and significance of this festival? How do modern Indians celebrate it? And what can we learn from its message of hope and triumph?

The origin of Diwali can be traced back to ancient India, when it was a harvest festival that marked the end of the summer season. According to some legends, it was also the day when Lord Rama returned to his kingdom of Ayodhya after defeating the demon king Ravana, who had abducted his wife Sita. To welcome their beloved king, the people of Ayodhya lit up the city with lamps and fireworks, symbolizing the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance.

Another legend associates Diwali with the goddess Lakshmi, who is the deity of wealth and prosperity. It is believed that on this day, Lakshmi visits the homes of her devotees and blesses them with abundance and happiness. To attract her grace, people clean their houses, decorate them with colorful rangoli (patterns made with colored powder or sand), and light diyas (clay lamps) and candles. They also offer prayers, sweets, and gifts to Lakshmi and other gods and goddesses.

Diwali is not only a religious festival, but also a cultural and social one. It is a time to celebrate life, family, friends, and community. People wear new clothes, exchange greetings and gifts, visit temples and relatives, and enjoy delicious food and sweets. They also indulge in fun activities like playing cards, bursting crackers, and watching movies.

Diwali is a festival that transcends boundaries of geography, ethnicity, and religion. It is celebrated by millions of people across India and around the world, regardless of their background or beliefs. It is a festival that reminds us of our common humanity, our shared values, and our hope for a better future.

Diwali is a festival that teaches us to overcome darkness with light, ignorance with wisdom, hatred with love, and despair with joy. It is a festival that inspires us to be grateful for what we have, generous to those who have less, and compassionate to all living beings.

Diwali is a festival that fills our hearts with light. Let us celebrate it with enthusiasm, gratitude, and kindness. Let us spread its message of peace, harmony, and happiness to everyone we meet.

Happy Diwali once again, especially to my niece Kerrie and her husband Nilay. May this festival bring you all the blessings you deserve. Namaste!