I’ll say one thing for my governor; he has a gift for understatement. Since President Joe Biden’s departure from the race, Donald and his disciples have gone totally off the deep end. It started with Trump Sneakers, which were supposed to ship in July, but so far they haven’t, and the “vendor” is making excuses. But that’s only the beginning.
Then came the Trump Bible. For extra, you could even get a copy signed by him. Because, as any of his supporters will tell you, Trump wrote the Bible.
Then there’s MAGA Crunch breakfast cereal. You can order it online for $25 a box. Only Donald can complain about high grocery prices while charging $25 for a box of breakfast cereal. And the suckers are lining up to buy it.
But WAIT! It gets even weirder!
At a recent rally in Pennsylvania, supporters were carrying around specimen cups purporting to contain J.D. Vance’s semen. The jars contain an unidentified creamy white fluid that I don’t want to think about. While apparently a swipe at Kamala Harris, who is childless, and Tim Walz, whose wife needed IVF treatments. But really? Carrying around specimen cups of Vance’s spooge? That’s beyond weird. It’s perverted.
Some theories are swirling around on the internet that this is all the work of some troll. The precise placement of the label—his face with the words “J.D. Vance Full Family Kit”—suggests that this might have been one or two vials being passed around (I think I need a shower after typing that) by a troll.
If this was a troll, I wanna shake his hand. After he washes it.